So let's get the basics out of the way:
Where? "Aberdeen, Scotland!"
For what? "Grad school."
Degree? "Post Conflict Justice and Peacebuilding."
....*silence*... "Kinda like what I did in Rwanda."
Ah. How long? "12 months."
Only 12 months?! "I know...the UK has it figured out."
How? "Because of the generosity of people all around the world who proudly serve as Rotarians. Because of this community - most of whom I will never meet - I have this honor and privilege as a Global Grant Scholar."
What will you do after? ...*silence*....
This next chapter makes sense if you met me in 7th grade when my English teacher assigned a persuasive essay, and I wrote about why we should care about the genocide in Darfur.
This makes sense if you met me in high school when I started asking questions about reconciliation...what does that even mean?
This makes sense if you met me in college and I wouldn't stop talking about the most beautiful representation of multicultural worship and community in Little Rock, Arkansas.
This makes sense if you stopped by my desk in the last 3 years and made a comment about the picture of Rwandan children playing, not knowing you'd be stuck there while I told you it was the children of a genocide perpetrator and their direct survivor who has now reconciled because they shared a cow (shout out to my unsuspecting coworkers).
It all makes sense. And yet I can't stop asking "Why me?"
This is the question that won't let me stay in DC, as transformative as every aspect of my life in DC has been (shout out to the best family, friends, roommates, mentors, mentees, church leaders, and coworkers I could ask for).
I still don't know why I was welcomed into the home of a genocide perpetrator who now dedicates his life to the work of reconciliation because of what he did 25 years ago. I don't know why I - already steeped in privilege - reaped the blessings of others' emotional toil in racial reconciliation as I was welcomed into their communities in Little Rock and DC.
But I accept all of it as a gift. And with all gifts, I can only hope to be a good steward of it.
So with this gift, I will continue to ask even more questions. Because this story is pointless if it's just about me.
Let this next year transform this question "why me?" to "for whom?"
This is the question that won't let me stay in DC, as transformative as every aspect of my life in DC has been (shout out to the best family, friends, roommates, mentors, mentees, church leaders, and coworkers I could ask for).
I still don't know why I was welcomed into the home of a genocide perpetrator who now dedicates his life to the work of reconciliation because of what he did 25 years ago. I don't know why I - already steeped in privilege - reaped the blessings of others' emotional toil in racial reconciliation as I was welcomed into their communities in Little Rock and DC.
But I accept all of it as a gift. And with all gifts, I can only hope to be a good steward of it.
So with this gift, I will continue to ask even more questions. Because this story is pointless if it's just about me.
Let this next year transform this question "why me?" to "for whom?"
 |
| One year ago, I wrote in my journal during the most spectacular trip to Scandinavia, "...could I really pick up my life and move to another country?" 12 months later and I still don't know...but I can't wait to try. |
